ear crystals and fireballs.
A snippet of conversation with Little Boss…
Me: Doctor said something moving around in my ear(?) is causing the vertigo.
Little Boss: Aahhh ouaaiiiii, les cristaux dans l’oreille! (crystals in the ear!)
Me (thinking I misheard): Huh?
Little Boss: The ear crystals.
Me: I didn’t understand. Crystals?
Little Boss: You know, crystals in your inner ear. You get them, and suddenly you’re completely knocked off balance. The ear crystals.
Me: Crystals?
Little Boss (exasperated): YES!! Crystals!!!
My co-worker emailed me later— she has vertigo, too(!)— and her doctor used ‘ear crystals’ like a medical term. So I guess it’s not nonsense, but all I picture is my inner ear as an amethyst geode.
It reminded me of my friend’s story (she’s American, too) :
It was the middle of the night in her bedroom, when a thunderstorm woke her boyfriend. He urgently jumps outs of bed, slamming windows closed…
She: Whaaa? What’s going on?
Him (frantic): There’s a crazy storm! We have to shut all the windows!!
She (still half-asleep): And why are you so agitated?
Him: Because of les boules de feu(balls of fire)! We can’t have them coming in through the window!
She: Fireballs?
Him (not even joking): Yes! Fireballs! Fireballs!! From the lightning! They can shoot in through the windows and kill us both!!!
She (fully awake now, fully incredulous): You’re talking about balls of fire here. Fireballs.
Him: Mais ouiii!! FIREBALLS!!!
And then they argue forever about how deadly balls of lightning fire entering your home through the windows and burning you dead IS NOT A THING.
